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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26910436">The Soldier</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/NazakiSama166/pseuds/NazakiSama166'>NazakiSama166</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Horror and Fluff [7]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Captain America (Movies), Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Ambiguous/Open Ending, Angst and Feels, Asshole Tony Stark, Bucky Barnes Feels, Depression, Dissociative Identity Disorder, Happy Halloween, Horror, Hurt Steve Rogers, Implied Childhood Sexual Abuse, Implied/Referenced Cheating, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Inspired By The Movie 'Split', M/M, Mental Health Issues, Mental Instability, Multiverse, Peggy Carter as Captain America, Post Mpreg, Post-Serum Steve Rogers, Psychological Horror, Steve Rogers Feels, Steve Rogers Needs a Hug, This Is Not Going To Go The Way You Think, Tony Stark Feels, Winter Soldier Bucky Barnes, all the feelings!, at first, but he is getting better</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-10-09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-10-09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-07 00:13:43</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>18,749</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26910436</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/NazakiSama166/pseuds/NazakiSama166</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>"Darker One-shots, Halloween Challenge 2020"</p><p>Steve Rogers awakens in a strange place with four other people. He was just trying to meet his daughter, but everything went black while he was on the way home. Now he must survive his kidnapper and not lose himself to insanity.</p><p>Multiverse One-shot!</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers, Minor or Background Relationship(s), Steve Rogers/Tony Stark</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Horror and Fluff [7]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/867132</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>40</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>The Soldier</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Author's note/Warning: This is a Yaoi story as in male x male. The pairing is Steve Rogers x Bucky Barnes and Steve Rogers X Tony Stark. If it offends you, you might want to turn back now. For those that don't mind that, I hope you enjoy the story. All reviews are appreciated.</p><p>P.S: This is my contribution to the "Darker One-shots, Halloween Challenge 2020" under the amazing 'Seth's Kiss'! This story takes place in the MCU timeline to an extent while still being a Multiverse one shot, so you have been warned! This story was Beta by the amazing FluffyKittyCat2! Also Happy birthday to Meee!!!</p><p>/Warning/: This story contains, cursing, crying, sadness, flashbacks, Multiverse, mentally unstable character(s), dissociative identity disorder, depression, psychological horror, violence and blood, mention of child abuse, mention of bullying, mention of sexual assault, mention of cheating, mention of male pregnancy, but I promise it does have angst with a happy ending! Loosely inspired by the movie 'Split' and really this is all the warning you need so please if any of this triggers you, do not read the story...</p><p>Disclaimer: I will only say this once. I don't own anything and make no profit off this story.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>In an alternate universe, Steve was a Captain who fought bravely against the forces of evil with his team the 'Avengers'. He was happily married to his best friend and co-leader, Tony Stark, both of them raising their daughter happily while enjoying life to its fullest…</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Sadly, this was not that universe…</em>
</p><p>.</p><p>…</p><p>.</p><p>"You promised to let me see my daughter this time, Tony!" Steve cried out, gazing at his ex with disbelieve, tears gathering in his eyes, but Steve refused to let them fall, not in front of Tony, never in front of his ex, the man didn't deserve his tears after what he did to him, after everything, after all, Steve gave to that man, this was his reward? Only being granted to see his daughter once a month, once a month! Howard and his ex practically took her away from him when he was still recovering from birth, and never once did they let him hold her! And now after five years, the cruel person refused to let him see his daughter, for many months in a row!</p><p>"I told you, Steve, I can't this month, and before you open your mouth, my parents are coming today, and they want to see Morgan, you understand why I can let her spent the day with you, right?" Tony said as he finally looked from his paperwork, face scrunching in distaste when his eyes fell on the many layers of clothes that Steve wore. It was true that they were in autumn, but it didn't mean that the layers Steve wore were justified, it wasn't that cold yet… though what does Tony know, he was talking about the man who refused to have sex with him if the room wasn't dark and he wasn't wearing a shirt... and it was for a good reason even if Tony doesn't understand no matter how many times Steve explained it to him…</p><p>"No, I don't understand why you will let my daughter meet your father but not me! The previous month I couldn't see her because she went out with Pepper, without me knowing! The month before that she was sick, and you won't allow me to check her, and before that, I couldn't come because I had a job interview, what the fuck Tony? You promised me I would see my daughter this month…" Steve's voice cracked, and God how much did he hate himself for letting his voice break in front of this man, Steve huffed and turned around, planning on leaving because he already knows, the brunette behind him won't let him see his daughter, no matter how much he begged.</p><p>Steve let out a pained gasp when he was pulled and thrust into the wooden shelves behind him, making him hold onto his whimpers as his head hit the wood hard, not that Tony will notice, he stopped noticing a long time ago. "Tell you what, I can give you an hour with her, but you have to do something for me." Tony smirked as he said his words in a husky tone, which made Steve tense and try to flatten himself on the bookshelf behind him. "Come on Stevie, for old times' sake. I will even let you see her tomorrow, what do you think?" Tony whispered as his gaze lingered on Steve's full pink lips, already feeling excited at the thought of having sex with Steve after five years, Steve can feel that excitement, he can also see it in Tony's eyes the hope that he may even convince him to ditch the clothes for once.</p><p>Steve was frozen, he didn't know what to do, especially when Tony started peppering his neck with kisses, causing Steve's breath to hitch. It was a good offer, seeing his daughter today and then tomorrow for the price of sex, it wasn't strange for Tony to offer him that choice, he did offer it a few times before, but every time he did Steve shut him down and fast. Maybe that's what was wrong, maybe if Steve offered sex from the start he would have been in his daughter's life more and more… Steve wanted to see his Morgan, he wanted to see how much she'd grown, if she knew that he was her Papa, he wanted her to know that he loves her so much. And it always breaks his heart that every time he was able to see her she only calls him, Sir, never Papa, or Daddy just plain Sir…</p><p>Steve bit his lower lip and turned his head to Tony, when Tony wanted to kiss his lips, and he can see that the action caused the said man to smirk. "Daddy, Mommy said to hurry up and ask the babysitter to leave!" The voice of his little girl called accompany by a knocking on the door made the two men quiet down, the words froze Steve, and he didn't even know what Tony told Morgan, but he was once again back to trying to unzip Steve's jacket, an action Steve wasn't aware of because his mind was going into overdrive at the words his daughter said, tears start gathering in his eyes when the words finally made sense... and Steve's heart, it broke…</p><p>"Get off me…" Steve hissed as he pushed Tony away from him with all of his strength, making the man stumble as he tried to regain his footing, not that Steve cared if Tony fell down and broke his nose or cracked his skull; he just wanted that lying piece of shit off him before Steve killed him.</p><p>"Where are you going?" Tony snapped when he saw Steve tidying his clothes before heading to the door, an action that caused Steve to glare at him with eyes full of tears of rage, and that by itself made the brunette froze in his place without moving… Tony always hated it when Steve cry, it always made Tony's heart hurt. At least that's what Tony used to tell Steve… but the man only shook his head, and Steve, he knew that the two of them were over, that Tony no longer care…</p><p>"When were you going to tell me that you never told Morgan I was her father?" Steve finally screamed when everything made sense to him, which made Tony take a step back, the flash of shock and fear on Tony's face confirmed Steve's suspicion, and that was the reason that tears sliding down Steve's face, which made Tony's eyes widen. "You know Stark, I should have known, men like you… they are nothing but scavengers that prey on the weak… I should have known not to trust you… no trust, lair!" Steve hissed before he took the chain around his neck and throws it at Tony's face, making his eyes widen as he caught the chain before it hit him in the eyes and Tony's jaw dropped when he realized that chain housed his and Steve's wedding bands.</p><p>Steve didn't let Tony speak or rush to him, as he opened the door and slammed it shut, going straight into the elevator and pressing the button to the ground floor, letting out sobs every now and then, and he was so grateful to J.A.R.V.I.S., for the A.I. never stopped on any floor to pick anyone else, nor did he return him to the penthouse of the Stark Tower.</p><p>When the elevator's doors opened, Steve rushed out and power-walked toward the glass doors, ignoring the people who avoided Steve like he was a walking plague, and for them, Steve probably was, with his slightly thin body from overworking himself and not eating, his dull eyes that had dark circles under them, his pale and tired face, and the many layers he was wearing and how they don't match in colors.</p><p>Steve didn't know how long he walked, but it was long enough that he didn't see Stark Tower anymore, which made Steve relax as much as his tense muscles allowed him, as he wiped his tears away, too tired and drained to even let out a noise, he just sniffed as he took a step after step, though a sound made him pause in his way, and he turned his head to the dark alley beside him… he should walk away…</p><p>
  <em>…In another time, Steve would have walked past the alley without care, too deep in heartbreak and pain to even care about the noises that were coming from inside the alley, if he did care for a second, he would have heard a desperate scream…</em>
</p><p>The scream made Steve tense as he ran inside the alley, his heart was pounding loudly in his chest as fear took hold of him, and his breath was stuck in his throat when he saw a man in a dark get-up standing over a blond woman, holding a gun to her head while she was pleading with him to let her go. Any sane man would have run away from that sight, trying to save themselves, but Steve looked around him for a weapon to stop the man, and his heart nearly sang in joy when he saw a metal pipe.</p><p>As fast and quiet as he could, Steve rushed toward the pipe and took it, holding it tightly with both of his hands, and with another breath, he rushed toward the man, his heart nearly stopping when the man turned his gaze to him, but Steve only raised the pipe higher and swung it at the man.</p><p>Any normal person would have cried in pain and fallen back when a direct hit of a metal pipe collided with their heads, but to Steve's horror, the man didn't make any sound. Behind the dark mask he wore, he didn't even flinch, and when Steve looked at the pipe shakily, he saw that the pipe took the shape of the man he hit with it, making Steve's jaw fall and for him to take a few steps back when the man growled at Steve and advanced on him.</p><p>"Run!" Steve cried in a voice full of panic, which made the shivering woman glance at him once more before she did exactly what Steve said. That cause the man with shoulder-length dark brown hair to turn to her, ready to shoot her while ignoring Steve completely as he saw his target was running away, and Steve took that to his advantage as he tackled the man to get his attention, which was a big mistake… gaining the man's attention that is…</p><p>Steve let out a cry when the man snarled and threw him at the far wall, making the air leave his lungs, as he looked up at the man who was gazing at him, fear seizing his heart as he shook when the man got his hands on Steve's jacket and raising him in the air using it, making Steve gasp when he felt his legs dangling, which was a fate considering that Steve was 6 feet 2. A choked moan of pain refused to leave Steve's lips as he was thrust back to the wall behind him, his head hitting the brick behind with a harsh blow that left him dazed.</p><p>"You will pay for this…" A husked voice murmured, making Steve raise his head only for his eyes to widen when they fell on the gun that was pointed at his forehead. Whatever words Steve wanted to let out were trapped behind his teeth, refusing to be let out; the only thing Steve could do was shake as he gazed up at grey-blue eyes that were gazing at him with a hardness that no human being should possess.</p><p>Tears start gathering in Steve's eyes, as he opened his mouth and then closed it, not knowing what to do or say, he only regrets that he wasn't able to see his Morgan one last time, maybe he should have agreed to Tony's offer, at least he would have spent the last hour of his life holding his daughter… the sound of gun firing left Steve in a daze at the loud sound it produced… then everything turns to darkness…</p><p>
  <em>…In another place, another time… Morgan wouldn't have come knocking on the office door, and Steve would have agreed to Tony's demand of sex, hoping to have one hour with his daughter without anyone interrupting them, one hour to holding his daughter tightly in his arms telling her that he loved her… but in the end, he only got his heartbroken when the small girl pushed him away and asked him 'Who are you?' in an innocent voice and eyes wide with wonder, causing Steve to break down crying… he would have returned home that night… it would have been his last night… and in the morning his friend Natasha would have found him dead in the bathroom…</em>
</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>
  <em>Steve never knew what love was… that was until he met Tony of course… he never had what anyone would call a happy childhood, he never has his mother's love, considering that the woman died when she birthed him, he never knew what a father should act like, because the man who raised him always abused him in any way or shape he could think of, angry at Steve for killing his wife, angry at him for not dying and letting his love live, disgusted at the thought of his son being able to fall pregnant… and Steve was used to it… in a way, that was sad, being used to the abuse and the hurt and the pain, but with the abuse being the only thing you had known since you were small, a life away of the pain and hurt seems like a fairy tale, and Steve never believed in those childish stories.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>But after meeting Tony… Steve starts believing, he starts hoping, and Steve has never been as happy as the day Tony proposed, he was over the moon on their wedding day… Steve knows that he was rough around the edges, he knows that his husband gets annoyed with him sometimes, and always hated when he wore double the clothes for any season, but what can he do? Being naked made Steve panic, panic about what Tony will think of him when he sees his body that was covered in scars and wounds, panic about the rush of memories that will come to him sometimes when the weather becomes cold, because then he will remember the cold basement his father used to lock him in…</em>
</p><p>
  <em>But recently they were happy, they were doing well, and Tony seemed so much happier than he was a few months ago, and that made Steve happy, and Steve… Steve really hoped to make Tony over the moon with joy when he was going to tell him the news. Happiness bobbled inside Steve as he gazes at the pregnancy stick that was put in a small present box which already decided his fate, telling him that he was indeed pregnant, and just the thought of having a child with the love of his life made Steve feel truly happy! And the symptoms of depression that he would feel now and then weren't there that day.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Reaching Stark Tower where his husband worked, Steve nearly skipped to his husband's office, deciding to surprise his husband and not wait until the man comes home because his husband was always busy in the past two weeks, always coming home past midnight. Steve looked around when he reached his husband's office, frowning a little when he didn't see Ms. Potts, his husband's PA, but he shook his head at that, deciding to wait in his husband's office to surprise him.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>The gasps and moans he heard when he opened the door froze him for a second, but he thrust the door open when he regained his motion back, hoping against hope that whoever was inside wasn't who Steve was thinking of… and then… Steve felt like the world was about to end, a feeling Steve was used to and managed to ignore most of the time, but this time… this time… seeing his husband looking at him with wide eyes, while he was on top of his assistant, made Steve sway…</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Pain, hurt, hate, and so many different emotions, warred inside Steve until he didn't know what to feel anymore, and for the first time in his life, Steve would have welcomed the empty feeling that usually took hold of him at times, but to Steve's disbelieve, it was not there… just the pain and betrayal, taking hold of Steve's heart, refusing to let go of him…</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Any person would have screamed at the sight, they would have cried and sobbed and made a scene seeing their other half cheating on them… but Steve didn't, he was so used to heartbreak and pain that for him it wasn't worth making a scene of his pain… he just walked inside the office, putting the present box with his wedding ring on the coffee table in the far corner of the room and left… ignoring the scrambling behind him as Tony tried to dress and run after him, ignoring the calls of the frantic man, ignoring the people who turned to gaze at him with pity, and only then did Steve realized that he was played for the fool, that every one of them knew, that he was the only one who was kept out of the loop, and like an idiot, he didn't notice the obvious signs that were there from the start… and Steve… Steve should have known, after all, who will ever love a broken person? No one will invest in a person that has his brain and emotions scrambled daily that they didn't know what to feel anymore… who will ever love a person who was full of scars physically and mentally?…</em>
</p><p><em>He should have known not to believe in fairy tales</em>…</p><p>.</p><p>Opening his eyes, Steve, could only see blurry shapes and darkness, it took him blinking a few times to clear his vision, and when he did, fear took hold of him when he remembered what happened before his consciousness left him... he sat on the bed he was on and looked around with wide eyes, letting them adjust, and when they did he took in the dimly lit room that he was kept it. He felt the hard bed under him, and when he turned around, his eyes widened when he noticed that he wasn't the only one in the room, that there were four other people here with him, and one of them was an old man he was sure he saw him somewhere.</p><p>"He is up," a man with dark hair stated, making Steve turn his gaze while blinking to adjust his eyes to the darkness more, taking in his dark facial hair and dark eyes. The second man who turned to him was a bald man with glasses, as he adjusted the broken glasses on his face. The third was a clean-shaven man who was frowning while glancing at Steve now and then. As for the old man, Steve finally was able to place where he saw him. Alexander Pierce, which caused Steve to blink his wide eyes, wondering how the man was here in the first place when all the old man cared about was his security.</p><p><em>Who are you?</em> Steve wanted to ask, the rest of the men, <em>Why are we here?</em> Another question that was running inside his mind, but the only thing Steve could do was look around the room with wide eyes while staying silent, a shiver taking over his body as his eyes glossed over… the room reminded him of the basement his father used to lock him in… there were two doors, one lead to a bathroom, and the other was locked, and if Steve had to guess it would lead to their way out… but his mind drifted over the rules his father always snapped at him before he threw him in the basement.</p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>"I don' wanna hear a peep coming outta this room or ya gonna lose yur tongue, lad!"</em>
  </strong>
</p><p>Those words made Steve's breath pick up fast as he pushed himself off the bed until his back was pressing against the nearest wall, gazing at the door in front of him like it was the plague, deep rotted fear taking hold of him, and Steve wondered if any minute now the door will open and his father will walk through it, with a bottle of whiskey in hand and a belt in the other, screaming at Steve to keep his voice down, as he hit him on the back with whatever was in his hand this time, ignoring the fact that Steve never once opened his mouth since he was disposed inside the dark, cold room.</p><p>The door did open a while later, and Steve tensed, hugging his legs tightly toward his chest when he saw the man with dark clothes from before, walking inside the room like a predator hunting for prey, and Steve hoped from the bottom of his heart that if he made himself so small the man won't notice him cowering in the corner.</p><p>"How dare you do this soldier?" Pierce screamed as he stood up, making Steve cower in his place. <em>Shut up!</em> Steve wanted to scream at the old man, but his mouth refused to open. <em>Be quiet or you will be punished! Don't make him bring the studded belt!</em> Steve wanted to beg, but he just kept quiet and waited for this nightmare to be over.</p><p>"I am not the Soldier…" The man said through his mask, his words were delivered in a monotone voice, making Steve shake; tones like these were always the worse because you don't know what the other person was feeling, screaming and angry tones were good, it tells Steve what to expect, if he should lower his head and expose his belly in submissive, or if he did something wrong that he needed to correct. "My name is Winter, as for why you are here? You are here because the Soldier wanted you here because in a few days from now he destroys your precious Hydra in front of your eyes… and when he does, you are falling with it." The man informed them as he took off his mask, and Steve tried to flatten himself on the wall behind him, his breath coming out in silent gasps, trying to stay as quiet as a mouse when he saw the emotionless face surveying the room.</p><p>"Are you insane, do you really think that you can defeat Hydra? That you can go rogue without punishment? Let's see how you will do it, I would like you to try, <strong><em>longing, rusted, seventeen, daybreak, furnace, nine, benign, homecoming, one, freight car.</em></strong>" After Pierce screamed at the soldier, his next words, and the words Steve heard, Steve was sure they were in a foreign language, maybe Germany or Russian? But in the back of Steve's mind, he wondered what he throws himself in, if this was a cosmos joke and he was thrown in a trashy comic about supervillains… after all, everyone knows that Captain America destroyed Hydra seventy years ago… right? The woman loved to cheer him up with those stories when they meet on their weekly dinner; having met the woman a long time ago and her taking a shine to him when he was still married to Tony, the woman was his husband's Godmother; Peggy Carter, a woman who looked in her forties when everyone knows that she was ninety, the world's eighth wonder, who still holds the serum in her body…</p><p>
  <em>…Any other timeline, these words would have worked, Winter would have tensed in pain as he felt his will bleed out of him, and Steve would gaze at how the man turned into a puppet before his own eyes. The laughs and jeers he would hear would have shaken him and his tears would have fallen when the men turned to him after beating the soldier bloody.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"What are we going to do with him?" One of the four would have asked. "We can't let any witness live." Those words followed by agreement noises, words, and actions that made Steve's heart stop, fearing that he would get beating to death like the man that was shaking on the floor.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"That's Stark's ex-husband." Pierce would have said those words causing everyone to look at him, and then they will start laughing, already planning on how much they will get out of him… and when they knew that he wasn't worth a thing in his ex-husband's eyes, they will turn to him one last time… "You know what to do, soldier…" Those were the last words Steve would have heard as they left him alone in the room with the man who took him away from his miserable life, only to throw him in hell…</em>
</p><p>"Are you done?" The soldier asked, and Steve saw how the color drained from the smirking faces of the men that were looking at the soldier with smugness not a few seconds ago. "As I told you, I am not the soldier; your words do not affect me… just to be sure though." Winter hummed as he walked to Pierce with a dangerous look in his eyes, and Steve gazes at the scene with wide eyes as the soldier single-handedly took down the three who tried to attack him to stop his advance.</p><p>It was laughable how it took the soldier only a minute before having three grown-up men writhing on the floor while moaning in pain, as for Pierce the man backed away until he was flattened on the wall behind him, and Steve choked on his scream as he saw the… the monster gets out a combat knife from his pocket, and in a swift practiced move, he thrust his fingers in the older man's mouth, pulling his tongue and cut it off… an action that took a few seconds at best, but to Steve, it felt like infinity.</p><p>The choked screams from Pierce as he fell on the floor choking on his blood, made Steve's blood freeze in his vines, especially when he saw Winter turn to the three falling men and do to them what he did to Pierce… choked screams and pained moans would haunt him for the rest of his life, and he could do nothing but shake in his place when the soldier turns to him.</p><p>Steve wanted to beg for the man to spare him; he wanted to tell him that he made a mistake, that Steve wasn't a Hydra agent, that he actually knew Peggy Carter, and that he can help… but the only thing Steve did, was shake in his place, his breath was shallow as he took in the man who now towered over him, gazing at Steve with cold grey-blue eyes… "Why are you always crying?" The soldier murmured as he lowers himself a little, to take a better look at Steve's blue eyes, and only then did Steve realize that tears were trickling down his face, and he didn't know if he wanted to laugh or sob at the man's question, for this was the first time someone really asked him that, but he just hugged his legs tightly, waiting for the man to do to him what he did to the others.</p><p>Steve already knows that fighting won't work; the soldier just defeated three men in a minute flat while cutting their tongues like it was nothing, and Steve wondered if they will die from blood loss, or if they will get an infection if they survived by a miracle, Steve tried not to flinch when the tip of the knife start tapping his left cheek, but he was shaking so much he couldn't help it, especially when the soldier hummed as if he was in deep thoughts.</p><p>Winter gazed at the crying man, and he has to give it to him for not letting out any noise, just the tears that if no one was looking wouldn't have noticed them, the blond just hugged his legs tightly and was gazing at him with wide blue eyes… they were familiar in a way… the blue eyes that is… but Winter blinked that thought away, returning to his knife that was resting on the man's cheek, gazing at how it smeared blood on the flushed and wet cheek that was sunken from how thin the blond was, like he hasn't had any meal in days. "Why don't we make a deal?" Winter hummed as a smile took over his face while gazing at the man, but he ended up pressing his lips tightly when the only response he got was a blink and more tears, but Winter will forgive the blond… just this time… "You stay quiet, you won't talk or interact with them, nor try to read anything they will convince you to say out loud, you do that, and I promise you will keep that tongue of yours, do we have a deal?" Winter questioned as he returns to his tapping as he waited for the blonde's answer, and it was only a minute before the blond man in front of him swallowed and nodding his head slowly, making Winter smile and lean to his ear, whispering "Good boy," before he backed away from the shivering man turned to the door, slamming it shut and locking it when he was out…</p><p>
  <em>…Another time, Winter wouldn't have cared to make a deal with the frightened blond, he would have opened Steve's slack mouth, not caring about how shaky he was, nor the salty tears that were running down his face, he would have held Steve's tongue and cut it out, uncaring of the blood that flooded Steve's mouth, uncaring when he swallowed and choked on some of it as the rest rushed down his face toward his clothes, soaking them red… but Steve wouldn't have done anything other than shake in his place, not even letting out a noise of pain… because Steve… he knew this was his fault, his father did warn him that he will get his tongue ripped off if he made a peep… he did…</em>
</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>Tony could only shift in his seat, feeling uncomfortable with his Godmother glaring daggers at him, promising him death… Tony always mourned the relationship he once had with the woman, as the two of them had fallen out after Steve and him got a divorce, the woman always had a strange liking to Steve, and maybe that was one of the reasons he always got jealous of the blond man. Out of everyone in the family, Peggy, Natasha, and Jarvis were the ones who outright refused Tony's marriage with Pepper, which was strange considering that the woman was successful both in her work and personal life, even his father told him how proud he was of him for choosing her, something the old man never told him, even when he was with Steve.</p><p>Not to say that Peggy, Jarvis, and Natasha's disapproval didn't hurt, it did, especially when Tony thought of them as a family since he was young, but the three of them stopped even caring or asking about him ever since he ended things with Steve, and it hurt, and in a way it made him resent the blond, after all, what did Steve have and he didn't? He was far more successful than Steve, considering that the blond was nothing but a struggling artist. He has a steady job, and a home, something Steve was never able to achieve in all the time he knew him, considering that he always gets fired from his jobs. The longest Steve was able to work in a steady job was two years at a bookstore, and it firmed Tony's believes, that his father's words were right and the blond man was nothing but a gold digger, and no matter how much Tony tried to explain that to them, Jarvis and Peggy always took Steve's side.</p><p>Today Howard had invited Peggy to a family dinner, and knowing that his Godmother was going to come, Tony prepared himself for her speech <em>'How could you be so cruel to do this to Steve? You took everything from him!</em>' that she always started after dinner when Morgan wasn't with them, and to rub the salt on the wound, Peggy's adopted daughter Natasha who was Steve's best friend. The redhead practically ignored him like he wasn't even in the room with her, and it hurt considering that the two of them were like siblings since Tony was a teen.</p><p>So Tony only pasted his smile when Peggy came, and he had to endure her glaring at him and his family with hate, and as always, Peggy reminded them that the only reason she came here was to check on Maria and Morgan, as for the rest of them they could drop dead… it was never fun when his daughter asked him what Peggy meant by her colorful words…</p><p>"Where is Steve? I was told he was going to be invited to this dinner." Peggy finally cut off her glare for a second to gaze at Maria who was looking at her food tiredly… his mother's depression had gotten worse in the past six years, and personally Tony thinks that Steve was the reason for that. If his mother was on Peggy's side in Tony's relationship, she never said a thing outright, though her actions informed Tony of what she really thought of him… and the only thing Tony truly hated Steve for was how he was able to make his mother laugh and gain her love when they were together…</p><p>"Howard refused." Those were his mother's words before she took a bite from her food, and Tony saw how the fork in Peggy's hand bent sharply at those words when the woman clenched her hand. "Morgan…" His mother turned to the small girl who was frowning at the peas on her plate. The spark in his mother's eyes made Tony tense, knowing that the woman would cause a scene that Tony won't leave unscathed… that was the type of revenge his mother liked to subject him to after breaking up with Steve, and Tony's resentment for Steve increased because of that.</p><p>"Yes, grandmamma?" The small girl asked as she turned to the woman, gazing at her with wide blue eyes, the only thing Morgan inherited from Steve, and Tony didn't know if he loved or hated that his daughter had Steve's beautiful eyes.</p><p>"Do you know who was the blond man that came here yesterday?" The room frozen at his mother's words, and Tony could spot the nervousness on Pepper on his father's face, nervousness on his face too. Tony had been so careful to keep the information of his daughter not knowing who Steve was away from his mother and Jarvis, lest it went to Peggy and the woman will rain hell on them more than she already did.</p><p>Before Pepper was able to interfere Morgan tilted her head and asked in a confused voice. "The babysitter that came two days ago?" There was the sound of breaking glass after Morgan finished her words, and Tony didn't need to turn to his Godmother to see the dark look on her face and the broken wine glass in her hand. "He is a weird man, he always brings me toys with him, grandpapa usually takes them away saying that he wants to return them to the people the man stole them from… I liked the bear he brought though." Morgan murmured as he returned to play with her food, not caring about the tense room she left behind because of her words. That information made even Tony freeze in his place because not even he knew about Steve bringing any toy to their daughter, considering that his father always informed him that Steve only came to ask for money.</p><p>"Is that so young Miss?" That was Jarvis' emotionless voice as he gazed at Tony with so much disappointed in his eyes, and Tony wanted to open his mouth and defend himself, but he knows that if he did, no one will believe him, after all, it seems that he lost more than half of his family when he left Steve… "Do you know young Miss that your grandfather is a big fat liar and that your father stole something very important from Mister Rogers?" Jarvis asked which made a hush silent fall on the room, the only sound was heard was the sound of his mother sipping her wine as she gazed at them like she was getting some kind of twisted enjoyment from their suffering.</p><p>Before the finishing blow could come to the door of the dining room was thrust open making everyone turn to the intruder, only to see Natasha who was gasping for air while looking as pale as a sheet of paper, which made everyone tense considering that everyone knew that the woman was nothing but a collected person who never, not even on her worst day, had a hair out of place.</p><p>"Natasha, what's wrong?" Peggy stood up fast as she rushed toward the gasping woman, who tried to speak, but no word came out, and that by itself made Peggy tense, knowing that the only person who could get a reaction like this from Natasha, was the feisty blond, she considered a best friend.</p><p>"Steve…" Natasha finally gasped out as she finally manages to catch her breath enough. "Steve got kidnapped… by the Winter Soldier…" Natasha finally gasped out in a broken voice, and Peggy's eyes couldn't get wider than they already were… how in the name of the seven hells, Steve managed to get kidnapped by what everyone knows as a ghost story? The noise behind them made Peggy and Natasha turned back, to see that Tony was standing behind them looking at them with wide disbelieving eyes.</p><p>
  <em>…In another timeline, Tony was sitting beside Steve as they joked and laughed around the dinner table, Peggy huffing at their antics especially when Morgan tried to sneakily put her vegetables in her grandma's plate with the help of Natasha, the only one who would have been unhappy with the arrangement was Howard because all of his attempts to settle Tony with another person would have failed, but Tony wouldn't have cared about what his father wanted, because he was truly happy…</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Sadly, this was not that story…</em>
</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>The sound of the door opening made Steve tense and look up from the floor he was gazing at, lost in thoughts. His gaze turned toward the door in fear of Winter returning and hurting him even when he promised he wouldn't if he didn't come near the men, which Steve didn't, he hasn't even moved from his place, he only gazed at the men who were finally able to stop the bleeding, he didn't even come closer to the man who was wearing glasses, not even when he stopped twitching as life bleed out of him, he didn't even come closer to the men when they start ripping their fellow member's clothes in hope of stopping their bleeding tongues, he just hid in his corner shivering.</p><p>The person standing in the doorway was the same man, but the clothes he wore was what made Steve blink in confusion, because needless to say they were women clothes, and Steve wondered in the back of his mind how the man found a scarlet blouse and black slacks that could fit him with all of the muscles on his body, the soldier's shaggy dark brown hair was combed and put in a neat bun, as he gazed at them with a clean shaved face, and surprisingly, he was beautiful. If Steve didn't know any better, he would have thought the soldier was nothing but a pretty face in the crowd, but he should have known that it's the quiet ones with pretty faces that he should be careful of. He still didn't learn that, even being a friend with Natasha.</p><p>"Winter did a number on you… My name is Becca, so you better get that right," Winter said as he walked inside the room, frowning at the corpse in the corner of the room while letting out a sigh, Steve was frozen in his place as he took the man in, wondering if what he heard was right. "I talked with Winter, he is forbidden to hurt you until another notice, if you will please give me your shirts, I'm sure you don't want to be cover in rusted blood for the rest of your stay." Becca/Winter? Walked to Pierce while opening his hand waiting for the shirt to be disposed of in it. When the old man didn't give his shirt and continued to glare, Winter sighed and got a knife, waving it in front of Pierce's face with a charming smile until the shaky old man finally surrendered and unbutton his shirt putting it in Winter's waiting hand, leaving him in his undershirt and pants.</p><p>Steve watched from his corner as the soldier collected the next two shirts from the men who were too drained to attack, just when Steve thought that Winter would leave him alone, he turned his gaze to Steve and hummed, walking to Steve until he towered over him. But to Steve's surprise, the soldier kneeled down so he was eye-level with him and gave him a small gentle smile.</p><p>"You too, sweet cheeks, don't be stubborn." Winter said in a gentle voice, which as much as it shocked Steve that the man was capable of such soft tone it made Steve detach his hands from his knees and start unzipping his jacket, before taking it off and giving it to Winter with shaky hands, and the man raised his eyebrow when he saw Steve wearing a thin jacket under the one he just took off, but thankfully he didn't comment on it, nor ordered Steve to take it off. He just stood up with the jacket and walked to the corpse, taking it from its leg and dragging it until he got out of the room, closing the door shut behind him…</p><p>
  <em>…Another time, the men in the room with Steve would have had made a plan to escape, which will cause them to try and attack Winter when he collected Steve's shirt, that resulted in two other bodies, and Steve being beaten nearly to death for Winter thought that the blond backed out of their deal…</em>
</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>"Let me help!" Tony begged as he followed after Peggy and Natasha, the two of them rushed to S.H.I.E.L.D. after dropping the life-changing bomb that made Tony shake in his place, trying to gasp for breath desperately as he tried to regain himself enough to rush after the two women in his car. It had been an hour since then, with him begging them to let him help in any way so that they could find Steve, but the only response he got was the cold shoulder from both of the women, which made Tony nearly scream. He knows that the two women hated him, he knows that, but was this really the time to be petty when Steve was out there?</p><p>"Yeah? And why do you wanna help, Stark? What is Steve to you?" Natasha asked with a snide tone, which made Tony clench his fists tightly, lest he started a fight with Natasha. "Thought so…" Natasha murmured to herself as she led Peggy to her office with Tony following behind them desperately. "Two days ago, four of our elite strike team were attacked, three of them were kidnapped, only one of the team was able to escape, and the reason for that was because of Steve. Later on the same day, Secretary Pierce was kidnapped too, and the person who did it was no one other than the Winter Soldier… but that wasn't even the shocking news…" Natasha opened the door once they reached the office, which had a woman with a blond hair inside being guarded by Fury and Coulson as they growled at her. She was bruised and shaking as she gazed at Natasha with fear. "You will talk if you know what's good for you" The redheaded woman hissed which made the blond woman nod and let out a sob.</p><p>After the woman has done explaining everything you could see Peggy screaming and raging, she even broke her desk in two when she threw it at the wall, and no one could really believe what they heard an hour ago, Shield was Hydra all along? Pierce was one of its leaders? All these years, all these years and they were being infested by those terrorists! "What does it have to do with the Winter Soldier?" Peggy hissed after she regained her breath which made the shaking woman sob even louder.</p><p>"A… a month ago, the t-the soldier broke his programming and w-went rogue." The woman said through sniffles, which gained her nothing but a snarl from Peggy, making her shake. "The soldier then, w-went and stole H-Hydra's information, p-planning on dumping it on t-the i-internet, and if he did that… n-not only Hydra will be exposed to the world, but Shield too," the woman said through sniffles, looking at Peggy with terrified eyes.</p><p>"Why did the Winter Soldier take Steve?" Peggy finally asked after a while of silence that suffocated the room, making everyone shift away from the brunette, lest she throws something at them, or break them with her bare hands, which was not far from what the woman was planning.</p><p>"I don't know! The blond man just jumped in out of nowhere when the soldier was about to shoot me, he ordered me to run, and I did, what was I supposed to do? Help him so that the soldier would kill me?" The woman cried out, which made Natasha punch her in the face, breaking her already bruised nose, an action that everyone in the room wanted to be the one to do but Natasha beat them to it. Then the redheaded woman ordering the blond to tell them who was the soldier if she didn't want something other than her nose to break. "H-his n-name is J-James Buchanan B-Barnes!" the woman cried out, and every person in the room froze as they turned to Peggy, who let out a strangled gasp.</p><p>
  <em>…In an alternate universe, Peggy would have been able to catch Barnes before he felt down from the train in the alps, she would have been able to pull him inside while hugging him tightly as she sobbed, she was overjoyed that she was able to save her love interest, the man who always had a kind word to spare and talk about a best friend who lived in Brooklyn.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>She would have kissed him when the two of them were safely back inside of the car, and he would have let out a pained laugh when the kiss was broken as he gazed at the dark ceiling of the car, his heart was still pounding in fear of the fate that was waiting for him not a few seconds ago… But the thing is…</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Peggy couldn't save him…</em>
</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>
  <em>"It's a girl!" Steve gasped as he heard those words, tears of joy clouded his eyes as he gazed at the squirming baby in the doctor's arms, he felt like he was too big for his body at the moment, like he wanted to shout his happiness for the rest of the world, he wanted to laugh and jump and be happy, he wanted to hold his baby and tell her that he will love her for the rest of his life.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Let me hold her…" Steve demanded as he extended his arms to take his baby after she was all cleaned up, the doctors though looked at one another before acting like Steve didn't utter a word. "Give her back, where are you taking her?" Steve screamed when he saw the doctor taking his daughter out of the room, and when Steve tried to stand up and rush after the doctor, all the nurses crowded him to sedate him, not caring about his screams and shouts and pleas as he screamed at them to give him his baby back.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>When he finally woke up, he woke up to a raging Natasha and Peggy, he woke up to be informed that Howard took his baby and that he had paid to Steve's therapist to trick him into signing a paper that gave his rights of his child to the man, he woke up wishing that he died…</em>
</p><p>
  <em>He woke up more broken then he already was…</em>
</p><p>.</p><p>The reason Steve woke up, was because he felt eyes watching him, which made him raise his head from the uncomfortable position he was in to look up, blinking his eyes when he saw the three men in the corner shivering. The lights though, made him blink and turn his head to the door, flinching when his eyes fell on the source of his discomfort, it was Winter, he was sitting in the doorway as he gazed at Steve with a thoughtful look while suckling on a plum before biting into it, which made Steve give a fleeting glance to the bowl in Winter's lap, and it was then that he focused on the man's clothes… they were kids pajamas… they looked like it with all the childish drawing on them.</p><p>"You sleep a lot." Winter said after he finished his plum, taking another one from the bowl in his lap. "Winter says you cry a lot too." Steve doesn't know why he uncurled himself from his place, maybe because it was of the childish wonder he heard in the man's voice, or maybe because he doesn't look very threatening in the footed pajama. Steve will never know.</p><p>But Steve moved from his place, he crawled until he was in the middle of the room, away from the men, and away from Winter, if he decided to get violent on him. "You are not, Winter, and not that… that lady who came a while ago, right?" Steve asked, feeling a little crazy for asking that question because he is sure that this was the same person who kidnapped him and threatened to cut his tongue, he was sure he was the same one who took his shirt and smile gently at him… but he seems different every time he saw him… like there were many people trapped in his body…</p><p>"No silly! My name is Jimmy." The man said as he bites into another plum while looking at Steve like how a kid will look at an adult who asks stupid questions, and that made Steve give a hum. "Do you want some?" The man/boy asked as he showed the bowl to Steve, and as much as Steve wanted to say no, his stomach started making noises and it made Steve wonder since when was the last time he ate.</p><p>"If you don't mind…" Steve said with what he hoped wasn't a shaky smile, and luck seemed on his side until the man decided to crawl and sit in front of him with the bowl of plums between them, Steve heart races, but he tried to stop it from jumping out of his chest, he just gave a smile as he took a plum from the bowl, trying not to choke when he nearly put the whole thing in his mouth, his action caused the man in front of him to chuckle and hide his laughter behind his plum. "Can you tell me how old are you, Jimmy?" Steve asked after finally finishing his plum, deciding that small talking 'Jimmy' is the best option he has for now; maybe he can learn something while doing that, if it worked he needed to thank Natasha for her teaching.</p><p>"Five…" The soldier said as he raised six fingers, which made a smile twitch on Steve's face, but the heartbreak was there because the man's action reminded him of his baby… the baby that if counted all the days he was able to see her since her birth, they will only equal to a month and a half… a baby who doesn't know that he was her father…</p><p>"So, you are a big boy, huh?" Steve smiled a little, his words causing 'Jimmy' to beam, looking over the moon at his words, and Steve wondered in the back of his mind if he is losing his mind for talking to his kidnapper like they were best friends. "So Jimmy, can you be a dear and tell me why Winter brought us here?" Steve asked his question carefully, fearing that the man will turn from the harmless boy he was acting as, into the scary assassin he was not a few minutes ago.</p><p>"Winter did it so that he will destroy Hydra, they are bad people…" Jimmy leaned down over the bowl of plums to whisper in Steve's ear, trying to make his voice as quiet as it can be without the other hearing them, which made the hair on Steve's body stand on its ends.</p><p>"But… Hydra was destroyed… Captain America destroyed them…" Steve whispered back, feeling the eyes of his fellow prisoners on his body, making him shiver as he held his right wrist in his left hand tightly, counting from ten to one, and hoping to stop his anxiety that wanted to take over.</p><p>"They were hiding…" Jimmy said as he leaned a little more to be able to whisper the words to Steve, making his breath hitch. "They took over Shield decades ago…" Steve opened his mouth and then closed it, not knowing what to say other than taking a harsh intake of breath, fear, and disbelieve warring in his head as he thought of Natasha and Peggy, hoping that they weren't with Hydra and wondering how many people he knew were. "Here!" Jimmy peeped out as he put a few more plums in Steve's right hand, making Steve look at them before giving the boy a shaky smile trying not to show how shaken and horror-struck he was.</p><p>"Hey, yo wha' a'e yo talkin' ab'ut?" A snapping choked voice came behind Steve making him flinch and jump, looking behind him at the angry faces that made him tense, as he saw the two men standing behind him with raised fists, ready to fight, which made Steve swallow.</p><p>"Nothing…" Steve murmured as he tensed his muscles while watching the men, knowing that if they really wanted to, they could attack Steve without him having the power to stop them, his actions seemed to make the men growl and advanced on Steve and the man behind him. Steve heard the quiet whimper coming from behind, making him tense like a bow and try to hide Jimmy behind him, all the while cursing himself and wondering why he was protecting his kidnapper.</p><p>"Yo, lis'n he'e yo, lil shi'! Give 's 'he k'y o' e'se!" The men advanced and Steve tensed as his hand touched the bowl behind him, which made him slowly inching to take it in his hand, and in a fast move, he throw the bowl at the man with the facial hair, considering that he was the closest to them. The bowl collided with the man's head which made the man give out a shout of pain as he touched his tender forehead, plums rolled down the floor, and later were stepped on by the man as he let out a snarl. The men advanced toward Steve and Jimmy while cracking their knuckles… the sound of growl behind Steve made everyone freeze in their places.</p><p>A gunshot rang inside the small room, making Steve flinch and hold his whimpers in, especially when there was a thud and a body fell down on the floor, making Steve gaze at the man who fell on the ground, taking in how his blood start sipping into the floor because of the hole the bullet left in his head. Steve tried to crawl away from the blood that was advancing toward him, which made him collide with a muscled chest, causing Steve to flinch and look up shakily to see Jimmy's face turn cold and emotionless, as he held the gun in his hand, and it was then that Steve knew that Jimmy was gone and the one who was behind him was Winter.</p><p>"Back down Rumlow, or you are going to be the next." Winter said coldly which made Rumlow growl, but he did back away and stood near Pierce, who woke up from his sleep to gaze at what took place in the room a few seconds ago, blinking his eyes when they fell on the dead man. "Unfortunately for you, I promised Becca that I won't mutilate you as punishment if you did something wrong, so strip!" he snapped at them as he growled darkly at the men. The men looked at each other but a snarl from Winter made them hurry to take their clothes off, lest a bullet makes its way inside their heads. Before they took their underwear off, Winter stopped them, collecting the men's clothes and dumping them outside of the room after dragging the body out and throwing it out of the room like it was nothing. "You too, give me your jacket." Winter hissed at Steve as he said those words making Steve shake as his hands went to his thin jacket. He unzipped it and gave it to the soldier, and Winter frowned when he saw that Steve was wearing a blue long sleeves shirt under the jacket, but he just took the jacket and left the room, leaving everyone in silence…</p><p>
  <em>… Another time, Steve would have been too frozen in his place when he saw the men advance on him, his mind playing tricks on him reminding him of his father, who cursed him to hell and back with every breath he took. He would have had a severe panic attack and would have lost his conscious, only to wake up hours later surrounded by the dead bodies of those who were with him… he never mentioned how all of his clothes were soaked in blood…</em>
</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>"Do the scans again, J," Tony called out as he frowned at the results. It had been four days since Steve was taken, four days of Tony searching for Steve in any way he can, only to gain nothing in his quest, no sighting, no video clips, no whispers on the street, no nothing, and Tony was slowly losing his mind trying to find the blond before something happened.</p><p>"Tell me, Tony, why?" Peggy who was with him questioned, and Tony froze in his place, knowing that the words his Godmother uttered meant a lot of things, a lot of 'whys' that even Tony can't answer. "You seemed so in love with him, Tony, why did you betray him like that?" Peggy knew that that the question was a late one, but late is better than never.</p><p>"What do you want me to say? That it was my fault that we fell out? I tried! I tried ever since we got married, no matter what I do, no matter how much I tried he always distanced himself from me!" Tony finally snapped as he turned to glare at the woman whose face darkens at his words. "Trying to take him out for a romantic dinner, guess what? He isn't home! Trying to spend some quality time with my husband? I will get kicked out of my own room! Trying to talk to him? He will leave the house! And don't let me start on the clothes he always wears and snap at me if I touched. I am tired of always being a second-best to whomever Steve always leaves me for; I didn't sign for this when the two of us married!" Many more words trapped behind Tony's lips, with no way for them to get out, but they refused to be heard especially when Peggy's face darkens even more.</p><p>"You are a real hypocrite Stark!" Peggy snapped making him take a step back from the raging woman. "Do you really want me to believe that Steve was actually cheating on you like you and your father always rave about? Are you really that stupid? I thought having a depressed mother would have made you realize the depressing signs anywhere!" Peggy's words made Tony stop in his place looking at the woman with wide eyes not believing his ears. "Every fucking one in your family knows that Steve has a persistent depression since he was a child and you are now telling me that you didn't know? Even your fucking father complained about it in front of us all, and you are telling me you destroyed Steve's life and stepped aside when his child was taken away because you thought he was cheating on you? Ever occur to you to just ask him? The poor boy wasted eleven years of his life for you, and this is his reward? Like father like son it seems." Peggy spat out as she took a deep breath trying to calm herself down before she strangled Tony and by this stage, Tony wouldn't even stop her.</p><p>Tony though was frozen in place, shaking at the information he was told, his mind going into overdrive as he crossed reference everything that his Godmother told him with Steve's behavior and his eyes widen in disbelieve when everything Peggy told him was true, but how didn't he realize that his ex was suffering? How didn't he notice? <em>You were never home</em>… his traitorous mind offered him, making him shake in his place. Not only has he destroyed his and Steve's marriage… but he destroyed the love of his life… he made him cry…</p><p>Before Tony opened his shaky lips to ask Peggy more questions, a frantic Natasha slammed into the door as she runs inside the room, making everyone look at her with wide eyes, paling when they saw her pale face and horror-struck expression. "T-the soldier, he… he killed two of the strike team, Rollin and Sitwell… and also he released all of Shield and Hydra's information on the public news channels and the internet, the world is going into an uproar, Peggy!" Natasha said which made Tony curse and turn to his A.I., only to see red alerts and news channels all over the screens talking and screaming hysterically at the information they were reading… this will cause global violence, no one would stay quiet after that… "That's not all…" Natasha's voice cracked as she said those words, showing Peggy and Tony the two jackets that were in her hands. "Those are Steve's jackets… we found them beside the dead bodies…" Seeing those two familiar jackets… Tony felt his world was about to end…</p><p>
  <em>…One day Tony would have decided to come home earlier from work, in the last few days Pepper and his father tried to convince him that his husband was cheating on him, and as much as Tony refused to believe them, their words made sense in a way.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>So just to make sure, he told his husband that he will be late that particular day, misinforming him that he actually was coming way earlier than he always does, hoping to see if Pepper's words were true and that Steve was cheating on him with someone, and if he caught Steve with someone, he swore that he will kill them both.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>But the thing is, he never found someone inside the house, and it made Tony angry at the thought of Steve leaving him alone and go cheat on him with whoever he was with… but the sound of crying stopped him on his way out, making Tony's heart pound in his chest as he rushed toward where he heard the crying coming from.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>When he would finally open the bathroom door, his heart stopped for a second when he sees his husband sitting on the bathroom's floor, with bloody wrists, making Tony give a panicked cry as he rushed inside, taking his suit jacket and pressing it to the wounds so that they will stop the bleeding, and when he will raise his head to gaze at his husband tired and empty eyes he will know… his husband was hurting all alone and he wasn't there…But the thing is…</em>
</p><p>
  <em>It was Maria who found Steve that day and Tony was the one who cheated…</em>
</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>
  <em>"Father? What are you doing? No, father let go, no, let go! I don't want this, don't want this!" His words were always followed by sobs, but it wasn't like his father cared for that, he never cared for Steve's begging to be spared from his dark fate… Steve didn't know when his father turned from beating him to death, to touching him without his consent… it was probably after Steve turned sixteen, by that time he was small and thin, everyone made fun of him because of that… Stephanie Rogers, they used to call him, too pretty to be a boy, and small enough to be considered a female if someone looked at him from behind…</em>
</p><p>
  <em>What made Steve sick to the bones though, was his father always whispering his mother's name when he touched him, making Steve hold into his sobs and vomit, shaking all the while when the man was in one of his drunken stupors, and that's why Steve spent all of his days locked in his room, or in school, fighting boys and girls who made fun of him, hoping that he will get a detention so that he will have a reason to stay at school and ignore his father's rule of coming home straight after school without feeling guilty…</em>
</p><p>
  <em>But even crazy people have a line, if crossed… they were bound to snap… and Steve did, he snapped after so much pain and humiliation and abuse and being taken without his consent, he snapped... and when he snapped it wasn't pretty… "Steve put the gun down!" His father snapped as he looked at Steve who was holding the gun in his hands, it was not hard to take his father's gun from where the man usually hides it in his closet, the closet was always opened. "Don't make me bring the belt, Steve, put the fucking gun down!" A sob left Steve's lips as his hands shook in their hold, and Steve could hardly keep the gun up, fat tears were rolling down his face as his hands lowered a little, which caused his father to smirk at his action. "That's a good girl, huh?" Those words were what finally did it, they made Steve tense as he raised his gun when his father came toward him, he ignored his father's snappish voice as he ordered him down once again… he gazed at the man one last time before pulling the trigger…</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Steve still dreams of his father's lifeless body as it hit the ground…</em>
</p><p>.</p><p>When the door opened once more Steve looked up to see that it was not Winter who opened the door this time, but Becca, and Steve looked at how annoyed the man/woman? seemed as (s)he glared at everyone in the room, which made Steve fidget a little waiting for what the man/woman was going to do. After all, Winter killed two people in front of Steve, and there wasn't anyone left but the three of them, and Steve might have survived the tongue cutting and shooting by a miracle, but that doesn't mean he will survive what's going to happen next.</p><p>"Winter already dumped Hydra's information on the internet.," Becca finally said after a tense while of silence, and Steve could hear the choked outrage of Pierce as he stood up with a growl saying some butchered words that Steve was sure was meant as curses, but Becca didn't seem like (s)he was concern at all. "Hydra's sleeping agents are being weeded as we talk right now, you really should be proud Mr. Pierce, you were the talk of every TV channels out there for three days now, and let's not forget the lovely internet, and just so you know Project Inside is no more, and that Commander Carter found Zola." Becca said as (s)he inspected his/her nails frowning a little at them before returning his/her gaze to the prisoners. "Come with me, I think it will be a lovely change to have dinner like civilized people for once… before the Soldier decides to come for you, it's not long before he does, he already felt trapped and is ready to finish you off." The man/woman offered with a dark smirk.</p><p>Steve bit the inside of his cheek, he glanced at the dried blood for one last time before standing up and heading to the man/woman, which made an amused look cross Becca's face as (s)he let Steve pass through the door. Steve though knows that he will end up dead in the end, so he thought it wouldn't be so bad if he got killed by the man in front of him, at least then Steve wouldn't back out in the middle of the act like a crybaby, curling on himself after a few scratches from his knife. At least then the job would be done if the one who killed him was the crazy man in front of him, but what right did Steve have to call the man crazy when the two of them could be in the same boat?</p><p>It took only five minutes before Rumlow and Pierce stood up and followed the two of them. On their walk to the dining room, Steve blinked at how old the place they were in was, wood boards nailed to hide the windows and some of the doors while the rest of the place was dusty and old with trash thrown around the place. Steve wonders where he was taken, but he shook that thought away as he followed the man/woman who led them to a dining room that, thankfully, was clean. Steve could only gaze at the dining table that had a fancy dinner, plates after plates of delicious food that Steve remembered making to his ex-husband when Tony returned home after a tiring day at work, dinner he had hoped to be able to make for his daughter one day, but Tony never allowed him to see Morgan more than five hours every month, and that was with Mrs. Potts watching their interaction…</p><p>When they finally took their seats, Steve could only stare at the food, not even having the appetite to eat, even when the only thing that Steve ate since he was kidnapped was those plums and sometimes the water he drank from the bathroom sink, ignoring the food Winter will bring for them every evening. "Here, take your meds and eat." Becca said after (s)he served him his plate, putting a few bottles of anti-depressants near Steve, making him blink…</p><p>"How?" Steve murmured as he took one of the bottles and inspect it, realizing that it was actually his, not a store-bought, it had the same doodles that Steve drew on his meds bottles trying to amuse himself in times when depression wasn't as severe as to make him stay in bed three days in a row.</p><p>Becca smiled and leaned to whisper in Steve's ear, "A secret makes a woman, a woman." Those were Becca's words before (s)he went to serve Pierce and Rumlow, slamming their dishes on the table hard enough to make a loud thud sound, and not like how (s)he put it gently in front of Steve. Then Becca sat on the chair and ordered them to eat with a sharp smile.</p><p>Steve ate a couple of bites before he opened his med bottles and took a few pills, swallowing them as he drank a bit of water, hoping the little food in his stomach will stop the nausea he would feel later. Steve then returned to his plastic fork and started taking a few more bites, not commenting on how the food he was eating was actually a takeout and not home cooking as Becca said a few seconds ago.</p><p>From the corner of his eye, Steve saw Rumlow glancing at Becca then at the door every few seconds. Neither he nor Pierce were eating anything, curtesy of their ripped tongues that still hadn't healed, but the man's action made Steve press his lips tightly as he gazed at the food, mourning not being able to finish his dinner, knowing that whatever escape plan Rumlow hatched in his mind, would go in up in flames if Winter decided to make an appearance like he did when Rumlow threatened Jimmy… Steve was really hungry, he never knew how hungry he was until after the second bite, and he wondered in the back of his mind if he will be able to sneak a slice bread or two with him and eat it when he will be locked in the room once more or maybe he should just stuff his mouth with food and hope that he won't vomit when he was to be back in the room.</p><p>Steve managed to take a few more bites before Rumlow finally decided to make a run for it, flipping the table on Becca before he rushed out of the room like the hounds of hell were after him… Steve made a noise of sadness as he gazed at the food on the ground, but he ended getting up from his chair and kneeling on the ground to take his meds before he heard Becca sigh and grumble. "Stay here, and if you dared to move, you won't like what's going to happen next… I meant you, Pierce," Becca hissed before standing up and rushing out of the room, leaving Steve alone with the old man, Steve didn't care that much about what Pierce was up to, trying to clean the kitchen and save as much food he can so it won't go into waste… he didn't even flinch when he heard the gunshot not a few minutes later…</p><p>
  <em>…In another timeline, Steve would have been home with his husband and daughter, smiling happily as he served dinner to his family, hiding his laughter as his husband made funny faces which caused his daughter to laugh and clap. He wouldn't pay too much attention to the TV that drones on and on about the Winter Soldier on the loose, nor would he care much about the information about Hydra that dominated the internet for weeks, he only cared about his little family and how much happiness he felt that he was with them…</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Sadly, his life was nothing but a disappointment from the start…</em>
</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>"We found one body this time, Rumlow's, his tongue was also cut just like the rest of the bodies we found. It was followed by another information dump, this time about the Winter Soldier's programming, which consists of his torture and abuse at the hand of Hydra, his 'Origin' as some like to say. There was also information about what Hydra was planning to do and what The Soldier's action stopped when he broke his programming and went rogue… Commander... people are starting to sympathize with the Winter Soldier. They started a revolution and demanded that he is to not plead guilty when S.H.I.E.L.D. catches him, especially when people realized that he was Sargent James Buchanan Barnes. Those who protested at his actions, calling them barbaric were considered Hydra's sleeping agents… it's a mess out there." Fury said as he closed the file in his hand, looking at the woman who was looking frantically through the reports on her desk, before letting out a frustrated breath.</p><p>"Why the fuck people don't want him to be pleading guilty? He kidnapped Steve!" Tony shouted in frustration, and everyone turns to the tired-looking man. Seeing how pale he was and the dark circles around his eyes made everyone sigh, Tony was dragging himself to the ground searching for Steve day and night, and as much as Peggy hated saying it, she was getting a dark twisted pleasure of how things were going for Tony now, maybe he will learn how to appreciate Steve after this.</p><p>"People don't care that he kidnapped Pierce and a few of his goons, they think that whoever the Soldier kidnapped was Hydra. There are actual posts on the internet demanding that the Soldier kill Pierce and put his head on a stake, people are siding with him, psychiatrists are taking his side too! Saying that no human being can survive what the Soldier did and that it was a miracle that he was even alive, lest being able to move! They all spectate on the mental illnesses that the Soldier could possibly possess from the damage of torture he was subjected to for more than seventy years. They are actually demanding that the legal system pardon the soldier, considering that his actions were because of brainwashing and outside influence! People won't even care about Mr. Rogers's kidnapping case, they will consider it an accident, just someone who was in the wrong place in the wrong time, and no one will charge The Soldier for hurting him," Fury explained which made Tony curse and scream, turning to his A.I. once more, screaming at it to find Steve, uncaring about the people who were looking at him.</p><p>"But all the clothes we found didn't have any blood on them, maybe James knows that Steve is innocent and he is not hurting him." Peggy said, though even her words sounded hollow to her own ears. After all, if the videos she saw of what happened to James were true, then there is no reason to believe that the man will never stop at anything until he kills all of Hydra, and poor Steve was thrust in the crossfire without his consent. Wasn't it enough that his life was already hell before James? Did the man have to turn Steve's life into an infinity of torture? Steve was already depressed, she wondered what would happen to Steve when they will finally save him.</p><p>Fury didn't comment on her words, but she could see the disbelieve on his face like he wanted to tell her that it was no use to try and protect the soldier. That the soldier was not James Barnes, he was nothing but a shell of the man he used to be, something that Peggy desperately hoped was not true, and that James was still there deep down inside of whatever was left of that tortured mind and body… she hoped he wouldn't hurt Steve…</p><p>
  <em>…In an alternate universe, Captain America, who was Steve Rogers, stood up facing the Winter Soldier, only to discover later when the mask that covered the man's face fell that the soldier was his best friend and childhood sweetheart, and when Steve called him in broken voice by his name, he got his heart broken when he received a blank look and a question…</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Who the hell is Bucky?"…</em>
</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>
  <em>The court rolled him killing his father as a self-defense case; a nice man by the name of Sam Wilson was the one who took over his case. He was nice, and he didn't treat Steve like how some of the police officers that were his father's co-workers did. The man didn't threaten him, he didn't scream at him, nor did he try and forge evidence against him, he just took one look at him and told him in a gentle voice to take his shirt off.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>And Steve; he remembered breaking down and crying at those words, begging the man to not touch him, that he will be really good. That action, paired by the man surveying of his house to see the horror Steve lived through, made the case on his side, as the man laid it all out of Steve being abused since childhood and sexually assaulted by his own father, and how the police didn't take actions considering that Joseph Rogers was one of their forces.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Even after seven years, after his miraculous growth sport, after going to college and getting his degree, after starting his therapy, after everything that happened, the blond always distrust anyone that acted like they wanted to be his friend, he flinched when people even looked at him and asked him out on a date.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>But one day Steve was sitting in a café sketching something. It was one of his good days, when he didn't feel like the world was conspiring against him. It was only an hour or so before a shadow cut his light, which made him look up at who dared to do that, hoping desperately that it was not someone who would continue to bother him even when he was going to tell them no.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Though the man he saw was a handsome man, and looking at how groomed and beautiful he was made Steve's already low self-esteem become nonexistent. "Hello beautiful, my name is Tony, what's yours?" The man asked as he sat on the chair opposite of Steve with a charming smile, making Steve fidget a little with his jacket's sleeve, not knowing what to do.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"S-Steve…" He remembered choking out, and flushing in embarrassment when he heard Tony laugh happily, and then Tony started chatting with him about something, and strangely, Steve didn't feel like the earth was going to open and swallow him whole… he felt like he was someone important that day… like he was wanted… He fell in love with Tony that day…</em>
</p><p>
  <em>If only he knew he was preparing himself for a bigger heartache…</em>
</p><p>
  <em>.</em>
</p><p>The next time Steve woke up, he woke up to the feeling of someone clinging to his back which made him tense a little and turn his eyes to the door to see that it was open and that Pierce was not with him in the room, meaning that either Winter killed him or took him somewhere else, but Steve didn't care that much about that, what he cared about was the person who was shuffling behind him as he held tightly into his shirt. "Becca said you wear a lot of shirts… I like this shirt… it's soft…" A voice peeped behind him, and it took Steve a few seconds before he was able to categorize it as Jimmy's voice, and Steve… for a brief second, he thought that he had gone insane to be able to know who he was talking to by hearing a certain tone from the man behind him. But to be honest, he prefers Jimmy's company to Winter's.</p><p>"Yeah?" Steve questioned which got him a hum, and Steve felt a head-nodding behind him before Jimmy snuggles into the shirt, he wasn't going to tell the man/boy behind him that he wore that shirt because it doesn't irritate the scars that covered his chest and back, and making them itch. He just gives a quiet yawn and opened his eyes, gazing at the meds and wondering if he should take them or not, they didn't seem to work this time.</p><p>"Becca said you were nice and helped her clean the kitchen." Jimmy let out a frustrated breath when he couldn't get into a comfortable position to snuggle with Steve, which made Steve let out a sigh and call himself crazy in his mind, before turning around until he was facing the man/boy behind him and pulled him in his embrace, making the man/boy tense for a minute, before he snuggles into Steve's chest, putting his arms around Steve, holding him in a tight hug before letting out a sigh. "You act like a Mommy, do you have one? I don't, but Becca says I don't remember her is all…" The man/boy mumbled which made Steve hum, wondering how to phrase his words so that Jimmy can understand that he was a man so he should be a Daddy. In a way, the boy in front of him doesn't really care about gender rules and the proper way to call someone. Steve doesn't care about it either. Jimmy was right in his assumption though, he was both a Mommy and a Daddy to a baby girl he never granted the right to see.</p><p>"I used to be a Mommy…" Steve said tiredly which made the man/boy in his arms go quiet, making Steve blink a little before thinking about returning to sleep, but the movement in his arms caused him to blink his eyes open, wondering what Jimmy was going to ask this time.</p><p>"Where did she go? Did Hydra take her too?" Jimmy asked, and Steve could hear the fear that was hiding in his voice, making Steve swallow thinking about his baby girl that was now with her father and her stepmother, unaware that her real Mom/Parent was kidnapped and about to be killed, but Steve paused; if Winter wanted to kill him, he would have had cut his tongue like he did the others, if Becca wanted to hurt him she wouldn't have brought his meds from his apartment, even Jimmy, he could have let Steve starve and not share his plums with him… the man in his arms probably cared about him more than his ex-husband ever did…</p><p>"Her… her grandfather took her… said I am not a good Mommy because I take a lot of medicine…" Steve offered, not knowing why he was telling the man in his arms all of this. It was actually the first time he told someone about Howard's visit when he came to his home and taunt him with how a failure parent he would have been. "Her Daddy sided with him too… I guess not everyone gets hurt because of Hydra, sometimes the people you love can hurt you the most." Steve sighed. He felt Jimmy sniffling and hiding his face in his shirt, making Steve raise his hand to run through the man/boy's hair. "Hey, are you hungry? I am starving; do you want some PB&amp;J?" Steve asked which made Jimmy raise his head before he looked at the door.</p><p>"I wanna, but Becca doesn't know how to make food… and Winter said that I will be put in the corner if I let you out…" Jimmy mumbled sadly, which made Steve smiled a little before leaning down to whisper his next words in Jimmy's ears.</p><p>"I know how to cook. I will just make us some sandwiches, and the two of us will be back here in a few seconds. Winter and Becca don't need to know about this, it could be our own secret." Steve said with a gentle smile, making Jimmy's eyes sparkle and for him to nod his head faster before sitting up, waiting for Steve to stand up from the bed before taking his hand and leading him to the kitchen, not realizing how the gentle smile Steve pasted on his face has vanished as soon as the man/boy's back was to him.</p><p>"This is the kitchen! Winter doesn't allow Becca inside, he too doesn't know how to make food, they just put everything in the water and then on the fire… it's icky," Jimmy said once they reached the kitchen, making Steve hum and look around the place. His eyes sparkled a little when he saw a window that was not covered in wooden boards.</p><p>"OK, why don't you sit on the chair like a good boy while I make some sandwiches, do you want some milk?" Steve asked which got him a nod from the man/boy who went to the stool that was in the kitchen. Steve busies himself with opening and closing the cupboards and drawers, taking what he needed from inside. He hummed a little as he took the knife and cut some bread from the loaf, putting it beside him when he opened the peanut butter jar, he made the sandwiches all the while keeping his sight on the knife beside him, whistling a merry tune as he was halfway done, with making an escape plan and food, only to pause when he felt someone standing behind him. "Jimmy, I told you to sit there, I don't want you to get… hurt…" Steve said when he saw that the person behind him was actually Winter and not Jimmy, the man scowling at Steve, making him tense a little…</p><p>
  <em>…In another time, another place, the person who stood behind Steve was Jimmy, as the man/boy wanted to see what Steve was making, his eyes widening at the different sandwiches Steve made and not just PB&amp;J, and Steve… Steve would have taken that as his sign, he would have pulled the knife with a practiced move that Natasha taught him, and he will thrust it in the man/boy's neck while twisting it and pulling it out.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Jimmy would have fallen down, looking at Steve with wide and teary grey-blue eyes that held so much pain and betrayal in them, the knife would fall down from Steve's shaky hands as tears gathered in his eyes when he saw that the light deemed in Jimmy's eyes, who was lying face down on the floor.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Jimmy?" Steve's voice will crack as he fell down and crawled toward the man/boy and shook him gently, and when he didn't find any movement he would pull Jimmy in his lap and start weeping, his mind going into overdrive at the thought of him killing a child, not being able to think of Jimmy and Winter as the same person, nor being able to grasp what he was feeling at that moment. He would sob and cry and scream as he held the man in his arms… when Peggy and Tony finally found him three weeks later…</em>
</p><p>
  <em>They found him dead…</em>
</p><p>"Winter…" Steve said, not even making a move toward the knife that was right beside him, gazing at the man's cold eyes, expecting his death in the next few seconds that came, but being grateful that he didn't raise the knife, like he had planned and hurt Jimmy. He was actually grateful for Winter for showing up at that moment. "Do you want some food? I was actually making Jimmy some sandwiches; he told me that you usually boil everything and that he…" Steve wasn't able to continue as Winter punched the cupboard beside his head with his left hand, breaking the wood beside Steve's head, making him go quiet.</p><p>"What is your fucking play?" Winter snarled as he pulled his hand away from the cupboard, glaring at Steve in the eyes when Steve's breathing hitched. "What were you planning? Stabbing the boy in the neck? Running to the window? Screaming for help? What?" The soldier snarled as he pulled the front of Steve's shirt with his left hand which made Steve snap out of his frozen state.</p><p>"L-let go of me!" Steve cried out, as he tried to pull the Winter's hand away from him, but it was of no use, the man's hand didn't even move an inch, like it was made of steel. "Let go! I didn't want to do anything like that, what the fuck is wrong with you, let go!" Steve choked on his sobs as he tried to pull away from Winter who was towering over him with wild eyes.</p><p>"Don't lie to me! I know your kind, pretty faces who have everything they ever wanted in life, never knew what suffering really is." Winter screamed as he shook Steve making him let out a sob, fear taking hold of him as memories of his father start clouding his mind, he didn't hear the sound of his shirt being ripped open, nor how Winter stopped screaming, gazing at his chest that was full of scars that were on display, his chest that had scars from various instrument his father used at him, from knives, belts, cigarettes, and anything his father hands fell on while he was drunk.</p><p>When Steve realized what happened, tears start streaming down his face as he wept, trying to cover himself with his ripped shirt. Steve hasn't allowed anyone to see him naked ever, he hasn't allowed his ex-husband to see him without at least a shirt that covered his chest and arms, and now… now someone was looking at him, gazing at how much of a failure and how weak he was, reading his life story that he desperately tried to hide. "L-let… me go…" Steve said through sobs, and he was surprised that Winter actually did it. When Winter let go of him Steve rushed toward the room he has stayed at for the duration of his stay here.</p><p>Steve didn't know how long he stayed under his blanket sobbing, but it was long enough that he felt drained and tired, the emptiness he felt increased until it was suffocating him, making him gasp for breath. "I'm… sorry." That was what Steve heard when he was finally able to calm himself down, the small voice he heard made him raise his head to see that it was Winter who said those words, standing in the doorway in his black clothes. Steve could only gaze at the man tiredly with red-rimmed eyes, which made Winter swallow and walk inside the room, heading toward where Steve was lying on the bed. Steve did nothing as he gazed at Winter who sat on the bed gazing at him with wide eyes. "You are like me…" Winter breathed out which made Steve blink his eyes at the crazy words the man spoke, and before Steve snapped at Winter to leave, he unbuttoned his shirt, letting it fall, causing Steve's eyes to widen at what he saw.</p><p>Scars and wounds littered Winter's chest and arms, but what really dominated it was the metal arm attached to him. It made Steve breath out as he sat on the bed while raising his hand gently toward where the metal and flesh connected glancing at the man for permission before touching the rough flesh when he got it, breath hitching as he took in the map of pain on Winter's body, and tears started trickling down his face once more… they weren't different…</p><p>"T-there is someone like me… we are not… we are not different." Winter's voice cracked as he said those words, making Steve sniff and wipe his tears, raising his eyes to look at Winter who was gazing at him with wide eyes, afraid to blink in fear of this fantasy would disappear at any moment, even when it was twisted in a way… but the thing was, how long since Steve waited for someone to say those words to him? How long did he wait for someone to consider him an equal? He waited for his husband for so long to make him feel like that, he waited and waited only to get his heart broken when his husband cheated on him, and now… years and years later… Steve finally heard those words, and they were from the person who kidnapped him and was planning on killing him, the fates really are laughing at him now…</p><p>"Yeah… we are the same…" Steve offered, returning his gaze to the scars under his gentle fingers, and when Winter took his hand in his flesh one and gave it a gentle squeeze and raised his metal fingers to brush Steve's tears, even when his eyes were full of them too. Steve didn't flinch away, nor did he shove the man, he only gazed at the body that spoke of so much pain and hurt and helplessness… he wasn't alone…</p><p>
  <em>…Another time when Steve pulled away from Winter, the man could only gaze at the sobbing blond who tried to cover himself with his tatter shirt, and when Steve rushed away from the man, he didn't go to his room, he searched for the way out of whatever hellhole he was in, shaking and sobbing until he found the door to the outside world, it was only half an hour of walking before Tony finally arrived at his location, gazing at Steve with tears clouding his eyes as he rushed toward Steve, pulling him in his arms as the two fell on the ground, and Tony apologized over and over as he cried with his ex-husband begging for the forgiveness that he knows he will never get…</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Winter never came after him… he let him go…</em>
</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>"When are you going to return home Tony?" Pepper cried out as she gazed at her husband who was in S.H.I.E.L.D.'s labs, ordering J.A.R.V.I.S. to do another facial scan and narrow the places that the Winter Soldier could be hiding in, it was a week and a half since Steve was kidnapped, a week and a half since Tony refused to leave the labs, spending every waking moment he had searching for Steve, hoping to find him, hoping that the soldier would slip so that he could catch him and bring Steve home.</p><p>"When were you going to tell me that you were a lying bitch and that Steve never actually cheated on me, and that those pictures you showed me were fabricated?" Tony countered back as he turned in his chair to gaze at the woman who froze in her place when Tony asked that question, he saw how she opened and closed her mouth, not answering him which made Tony bite the inside of his cheek to stop himself from screaming at her. "Leave, I will deal with you later Ms. Potts." Tony turned to his computer after he said those words, ignoring the gasp the woman let out as her eyes widened at her husband's words.</p><p>"I… I love you…" Tony gave a sarcastic hum at her words which made the woman growl. "I love you! I always did, but you never paid attention! Only thinking about Steve this and Steve that, ignoring me every time, even when you know I am a better match then he ever was!" Pepper sobbed, maybe hoping that Tony would realize how genuine she was and how much she loved him.</p><p>"You destroyed Steve's life, mine, and our daughter, do you realize that?" Tony questioned darkly as he turned to the woman with a growl. "Do you realize that now Steve will never ever take me back, and I am stuck with you for the rest of my Goddammit miserable life?" Those words made Pepper's tears run fast as her breath hitched when he took off his wedding ring and threw it at her, making her lean down to pick it up. "If something happened to Steve…" Tony hissed leaving the threat hanging, making the woman sob and rush out of the room, while Tony returned to the screens in front of him.</p><p>"You were harsh." Natasha stated as she entered the room with two mugs of coffee, only getting a dry huff from Tony as he tapped on the keyboard in front of him, not paying Natasha any attention other than taking his mug from her to sip his coffee.</p><p>"The bitch deserves it," Tony said as he took another sip, massaging his forehead when the headache he felt starts increasing. "What can you tell me about the Winter Soldier?" Tony asked as he gazed at the monitoring screens, not seeing any changes in the scans he was doing.</p><p>"If he doesn't want to be found, you won't find him, even if you spent your life trying," Natasha stated in a cold voice, making Tony pressed his lips tightly. "You know he won't forgive you for what happened, right? He won't jump back into your arms even when we find him. You broke him, Tony… and this… this will destroy every piece of mental stability he was able to glue back together in the past six years," Natasha said back which caused Tony to bite the inside of his cheek.</p><p>"I know… I know that, just as I know that Steve will hate me for the rest of his life, but I need to find him and get him back." Tony got those words out through gritted teeth, being thankful that Natasha didn't comment on his words. Tony wondered what would it have been like, if he just talked with his ex-husband all those years, he wondered what his life would have been like…</p><p>
  <em>…In an alternate universe, Steve and Tony retired from the Avengers, the two of them bought a lake house and raised their daughter there, being content with their life and what it has to offer them, watching their daughter grow up with happiness etched on their faces. Steve and Tony would one day sit in their garden, smiling as their daughter ran around the place chasing a butterfly with happy giggles leaving her lips now and then.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Steve who was running his hand through Tony's hair, would turn to his husband who was laying his head in Steve's lap and he would give Tony a happy smile before he leaned down and whispered something in his husband's ear, making the brunette's eyes widen in surprise, only to be filled with joy and happiness a few seconds later as he laughed and cheered and held his husband tightly, being joined by their daughter not a moment later…</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Regrettably, this was not that universe…</em>
</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>"Who are you?" Steve questioned gently to the man lying behind him, his hand was caressing he metal arm that pulled Steve to a muscled chest, making him hum a little as he felt Winter's breath on the back of his neck as he snuggles into Steve… both of them were shirtless, both of them were taking such intimacy and comfort from each other, an act the two of them never dared to perform with another person.</p><p>"I don't know…" Winter whispered in a small voice, pulling Steve tightly to his chest, making Steve sigh, taking comfort in the warm skin behind him. "We don't remember much, just… just pain and fear… at first, it was only the Soldier, then me, then Becca, and lastly Jimmy… we know that we would never be saved unless we destroyed Hydra…" Steve hummed and gave a nod at the man's words, trying to make sense of what he was told. "Hey… can you promise me something?" The soldier asked getting a nod from Steve. "Don't leave the room tonight, stay in, and lock yourself in the bathroom… and no matter what you hear, don't come out." Winter ordered which made Steve tense and turn to the man.</p><p>"Why? What's going on?" Steve questioned, fear taking hold of his body when he saw nervousness and even a flash of fear in Winter's face, and that by itself made Steve tense because ever since he knew Winter, the man was ruthless and fearless, and for fear to be on his face meant something big was going to happen.</p><p>"The Soldier is coming out tonight, and Steve, you need to hide, if you ever considered me as a monster, then that man is the devil himself. Once he shows up, no one is left alive, everyone who stands in his way will die, so please, I beg of you, Steve, hide," Winter's warnings made goosebumps appear on Steve, and Steve shivered, gazing at Winter with wide eyes.</p><p>"Come with me to S.H.I.E.L.D.…" Steve breathed as he laid his hand on Winter's cheek, gazing into the man's eyes, begging him to listen, to understand. "They will help, Commander Carter will help, Winter, she will help, and they will punish Hydra, you don't have to live in fear, she can help," Steve begged, which made the man close his eyes as he let out a shaky breath.</p><p>"If we went with you… the soldier… he would be enraged, he would make sure to kill everyone and anyone, Steve, we can't take that risk, we need to finish what we started tonight… I'm sorry…" Winter said before he pulled himself away from Steve's embrace, and standing up before walking toward the door, Steve gazed at the man with wide eyes as he heard the locks click in place and the key slide down the door until it was in the middle of the room…</p><p>
  <em>…Another time, Winter would have agreed to Steve's offer to go with him to S.H.I.E.L.D., they two of them will rush toward the HQ in hope of arriving there fast, but the Soldier would have come out, want it or not, he would have glared at Steve for taking his revenge from him and would have killed him as a lesson for Winter, for refusing to follow his orders as he was told, and when Winter returned once again, he would scream and cry when he saw blue, lifeless eyes staring at him, he would beg and beg for Steve to come back as he held him tightly in his arms, and when Tony arrived with a gun… Winter didn't fight him when he pulled the trigger…</em>
</p><p>The sound of screams and shrieks snapped Steve from his daze and he looked fearfully at the door, he didn't know how long the screams continued, but they increased and increased until Steve felt them echoing in his bones, and when everything turned silent, the silence was more deafening then the screams itself, and Steve stood up on his shaky legs, going to the key that was on the floor and went to stand near the door with wobbling legs, wondering if he should open it or not.</p><p>"I now know the feeling of the idiot actors in horror movies…" Steve tried to joke, only to feel like he was choking on his words as tears threatened to slide down his face, but Steve soldiered on. He put the key in the hole and turned it until he heard the sound of a click.</p><p>Walking around the place, shivers racked Steve's body as he felt eyes on him, pinning him in place, suffocating him until he felt like he was going to die, Steve sniffed as he walked and walked through the hallways, pulling in gulps of air, hoping that he won't start panicking and fainting because of it.</p><p>When Steve arrived at a dimly lit room, his eyes widened and he felt like he was going to choke when he saw the sight in front of him. Blood and body parts all around the place, making Steve take a step back, only to collide with a hard chest, and the hair on Steve's body stood on its ends, because not once did he hear or feel someone moving.</p><p>Tears start running down Steve's face and his lips wobbled as he felt a metal arm sneaking around him, heading toward his neck. "Winter… please…" Steve pleaded brokenly, which gained him nothing but a growl and for him to be turned harshly and slammed into the wall behind him making him hold into his whines as he gazed at those cold, cold eyes.</p><p>If Steve thought that Winter's face was cold, then it got nothing on the soldier's face, the soldier was all sharp and harsh lines, face emotionless as stone, eyes thirst for blood underneath all the blankness, a body that seemed bigger than it was hours ago, promising death. When the man's eyes fell on him, a frown took over that blank face, but when grey-blue eyes meet a sky blue, the soldier froze in his place. "S-Stevie…?" The man questioned in a husky voice, his eyes going wide when the blond let his tears fall faster at that…</p><p>
  <em>…Unknowing to many, the apartment complex that the soldier chose, once upon a time, housed a blond man and his best friend. A blond man who was promised by his best guy, who was going to war, that he would return home alive when the war was over, and promised him that he would move mountains to return home… only that he didn't… and years passed and the blond man waited, and waited, and waited… and waited… even when a brunette woman who everyone idolized came to him one day, tears in her eyes and a flag and dog tags in her hands, he waited while holding into the dog tags not believing his best fella to be dead, even when the complex was shut not a few years later, he always came to sit on the steps waiting, even on his death bed, the man waited for the ghost to return home once more…</em>
</p><p>
  <em>And maybe… maybe this was the universe…</em>
</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>"They are here, Steve is here!" Natasha called out happily as she thrust the door opened, making Peggy and Tony jump from their places to look at the redheaded woman with wide eyes, rushing behind Natasha as she ran outside of the room, hearts pounding in their throat until they reached the room that Steve was inside.</p><p>When Tony opened the door, he froze when he saw Steve sitting on the sofa, leaning on the Winter Soldier who was sitting beside him holding his hand, Steve seemed to ignore how the soldier sitting beside him was growling at everyone that came near them. The choked gasp from Peggy made the soldier with the dark mask turn to the woman, tensing in preparation for a fight, only to be stopped by Steve tugging his hand gently.</p><p>"No fighting, Bucky, we talked about this…" Steve said tiredly as he straightened the too-big shirt on his body, his words causing the man beside him to stop what he was doing, which was hissing at them like an angry dragon. "Hey there…" Steve waved to them with a tired smile, making Peggy choke on her sob and let out a pained laugh, going to Steve and pulling him into her arms while ignoring the man who was hissing at her like an angry lion for touching the blond.</p><p>"We were so worried. We thought… we thought you were dead…" Peggy's voice cracked as she said those words, making Steve shush her gently. That display made Natasha rush to give Steve a tight hug when Peggy was done, saying something about the blond being an idiot and a trouble magnet.</p><p>"Aren't you gonna say 'Hi', Tony?" Steve asked the frozen man, which made Tony let out a sob and rush toward Steve, pulling Steve tightly in his arms as he apologized over and over again, making Steve hum and let out a tired sigh. Leaning on The Soldier beside him when Tony pulled away, letting out a tired smile when Bucky leaned back on him, even when he was still eyeing everyone in the room like he wanted to stab them… "So, Ms. Carter, do you think that you can help?" Steve asked as he tried to hide his yawn getting an amused look from Peggy as she shook her head at the display, trying to hold her happy tears.</p><p>.</p><p>…</p><p>.</p><p>
  <em>"S-Stevie…?" The man questioned in a husky voice, his eyes going wide when the blond let his tears fall faster…</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"…Bucky?" Steve's voice cracked as he said that name, a name of an imaginary friend that he hallucinated ever since he was a boy trying to run away from reality in the cold dark basement, Steve's voice causing tears to gather in Bucky's eyes as he pulled Steve tightly in his arms…</em>
</p><p>
  <em>And maybe… maybe Steve wasn't broken as he thought…</em>
</p><p>
  <strong>The End</strong>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>So what do you think?</p><p>Plot twist inside a plot twist that was in the belly of a plot twist! I rock!</p><p>As I said this is my contribution to the "Darker One-shots, Halloween Challenge 2020" under the amazing 'Seth's Kiss'. The list below is the names of the stories that were submitted for the challenge with the names of the authors, please kindly check out their Halloween one-shot (when they come out, because we're posting during the entirety of October) and their other fics if they suit your tastes, and please heed their Warnings too, thank you!</p><p>Day 1:</p><p>Vivisection, by TheBadIdeaBears</p><p>Day 2:</p><p>Deliverance, by Caldera Valhallis</p><p>Day 3:</p><p>The Beating Heart, by Ferith12</p><p>Day 4:</p><p>Paradise Lost, by Potashiamu</p><p>Day 5:</p><p>Redemption Astray, by Kakashi97</p><p>Nyctophilia, by Rhearenee</p><p>Indrajit, by Tartarun</p><p>Day 6:</p><p>Monsters, by Alastair</p><p>Whips and Chains, by Iceburg-sanCPX</p><p>There Is Light In Even The Darkest of Times... by Kittyface27</p><p>Day 7:</p><p>Ishbalan Halloween, by Silirt</p><p>Day 8:</p><p>The Green Dreamer, by Kamil the Awesome</p><p>Day 9:</p><p>The Soldier, by Nazaki-Sama</p><p>Day 10:</p><p>Cuervo La Sombra, by HisagiKirigakure</p><p>The Demon on the Mountain, by Phoenixreal</p><p>Dark Side of the Moon, by SesshomaruFreak</p><p>Day 11:</p><p>Ghosting Reality, by Yemi Hikari</p><p>Day 12:</p><p>The Fear I Promised You, by Seth's Kiss</p><p>Day 13:</p><p>Boo On You, by SerenaJones585</p><p>Disorder, by The Token</p><p>Day 14:</p><p>Eleven Miles, by Shnuggletea</p><p>Day 15:</p><p>Who's Watching You? by Wrath of Vajra</p><p>Day 16:</p><p>Little Bit Of Poison In Me, by SereneCalamity</p><p>Day 17:</p><p>Paris's Dark Halloween, by DemonShippingQueen</p><p>Day 18:</p><p>Electric Bone, by Nissa Fox</p><p>Day 19:</p><p>Eclipse, by Spunky0ne</p><p>Day 20:</p><p>The Red Wolfe, by Brenna76</p><p>Monster in Disguise, by DemonoftheFridge</p><p>Live. Die. Repeat, by Karkatsbabe</p><p>Trick and Treat, by SensiblyTainted</p><p>Day 21:</p><p>The Kitsune's trap, by CrimsonRaine87</p><p>Day 22:</p><p>Out of this world, by Silverstar</p><p>Day 23:</p><p>Read the Fine Print, by DancesWithSeatbelts</p><p>The Vault, by Desna</p><p>Sweet Dreams, by FrejaBee</p><p>Day 24:</p><p>Her Professor, by Drawingdownthemoon</p><p>Aftertaste, by Elleurs</p><p>SleepWalker, by KurohimeHaruko</p><p>Taken, by TsukikoUchu</p><p>To do or to die, by WhatIEternallyDesire</p><p>PAROXETINE, by Yatsu Narurasuke</p><p>Day 25:</p><p>Name your price, by Babyvfan</p><p>Harry Potter and the High Jinx Hotel, by Xache</p><p>Day 26:</p><p>Blue Moon Massacre, by Jadeile</p><p>Day 27:</p><p>Stuck in Hell, by NekoPantera</p><p>Curse of the Ishida Estate, by Sigan</p><p>Day 28:</p><p>Torment, by Bewdofchaos</p><p>A Yu-Gi-Oh! Nightmare, by RayeMoon</p><p>Day 29:</p><p>The Somnambulist, by ArgentNoelle</p><p>What true fear shows, by AsgardianHobbit98</p><p>Against your Nature, by PhantomGypsy</p><p>Merely a Simple Conversation, by HoshisamaValmor</p><p>Butler and Master: Damask Honeymoon, by Starfire93</p><p>Day 30:</p><p>The Vampire of Yuggoth, by Count Morningstar</p><p>Decorating for Halloween, by Max333</p><p>In the Shadow, by Sailor Silver Ladybug</p><p>Enjoy!</p><p>Read and Review</p><p>And tell me what you think…</p><p>Nazaki-Sama</p></blockquote></div></div>
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